I thought I’d research on important topics like these and let conflicting ideas marinate for a while on my blog.
Caveat: Let me be clear, I do not agree with many of these ideas. These are not mine. I have a different value system regarding this topic and that’s unlikely to change.
Regardless of the veracity or the efficacy of these ideas, it may be valuable to independently probe them.
One thing I’m certain is that the ideas we so resist are the ones that need studying.
8 Unpopular ideas on DATING, RELATIONSHIP AND marriage
- Though physical attraction is condemned as a shallow standard for choosing a partner, people should be free to be explicit about their preferences without having to hide it. If you have a preference for a certain body type, you might as well state it upfront rather than try and change those who don’t fit the bill.
- Those who’re into fetishes such as BDSM and hide it for the fear of being judged should wear it on their sleeves. To hide one’s sexual identity is no different from having to hide one’s gender identity as gay or lesbian. Introduce oneself as the alpha or the dominant in the relationship.
- Those who cannot try and commit to one partner in their thoughts or deeds are better off openly practising polyamory instead of pretend being monogamous for society’s sake. Scientifically, the human brain hasn’t evolved to be monogamous. Read more.
- Privatise the institution of marriage. People could marry anyone of their choice (and any number of them 🤔) Marriage needn’t be government’s business when it’s largely a private contract between families. Define the terms of the marriage and agree upon a contract. Read more.
- Divorce shouldn’t be easy or free from stigma. This is important in an age where divorce rates are soaring up, leaving a trail of broken families mired in financial disasters. If it’s easy or socially acceptable for one person to abandon their family, there will be no motivation to think through selecting a long-term partner.
- Which brings up the next point on knowing your partner well enough before you tie the knot.
Dating should be easy and free from stigma as long as it isn’t forced and doesn’t involve kids. Look for their presence of mind and compatibility with your culture over lofty acts of romance and chemistry.
From an evolutionary standpoint, women ensure they have the best match within their limited fertility period. Men ensure to spread their genes far and wide throughout their unlimited fertility period. It’s unlikely women and men can reach their evolutionary goals without going through a process of dating multiple people. Some pointers to help you get started.
- “Hey, I’m sorry. I think your genes don’t deserve to survive another generation.”
You may fail an interview. You may fail in your exams. But no judgement for an individual can be more ultimate than being chosen as a long-term partner. We have a moral obligation to create offsprings with a healthy partner. Poor selection not only dilutes your gene pool with the wrong person but also delays nature’s way of creating healthier humans by many generations. (I recently learnt that the 2 pairs of wisdom teeth I’ve inherited from my parents are actually characteristics of primitive humans. 🤷🏻♀️)
- Those who are involuntary celibates should be sympathised as much as those who can’t afford one meal a day. Statistically speaking, sex ratios are such that there are going to be many men who will never find a partner, let alone an ideal one. Read more.